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The President's New Supreme Court Nominee: A Chicken
Published Friday, October 07, 2005 by Gaëtan | E-mail this post
WASHINGTON, DC- President George W. Bush surprised the country today by retracting his nomination of Harriet Miers to the supreme court and nominating instead, a chicken.
The American public, obviously shocked at his decision, thought is was probably for the best anyway.
Former Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers.
"I think this chicken will do so much for our country, and I will back this chicken's decisions all the way," said Latisha Smith, a local restauraunt owner. "Hell I would even vote him into office."
"I've never heard of this chicken but I know that Harriet Miers was a bit iffy," said newly-appointed Justice John Roberts. "This chicken will do a better job than Harriet Miers ever could, and he's definately more comptetant."
The chicken, nicknamed Senõr Pecker by his former New Mexican owner, Alejandro Sanchez was a former participant in cock-fights in seedy Roswell bars.
Supreme Court candidate Senõr Pecker.
"The chicken, he cannot fight no more," says Sanchez. "Every night I try to win money with him, but he too slow to even peck out opponent's eyes. So go to restaurant and I say 'hey, you want chicken? I give to you for free,' but nobody want him. Even KFC not want him."
At the announcement of his new nomination, president Bush was already praising his choice.
"Senõr Pecker here has been through 458 cock-fights in his lifetime. You show me another person, animal or inatimate object better than him, and I'll nominate them too," he said. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the finest cock in the United States of America, and soon he will be the finest supreme court judge as well. We had a pit-bull in size six shoes before, now we have a cock fighter wearing none."
Bush nominates Senõr Pecker at a news conference
aired on CNN.
When questioned about Senõr Pecker's experience in law by a reporter from the New York times, Bush answered: "Mam, there are people dying for our country in Iraq every day. They're making the sacrifice for a country that they beleive in, and you're questioning his qualifications? If you don't think that this magnificent cock should be in the supreme court, then you must be anti-American."
The senate is expected to accept the President's nomination sometime next week.
The American public, obviously shocked at his decision, thought is was probably for the best anyway.
Former Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers.
"I think this chicken will do so much for our country, and I will back this chicken's decisions all the way," said Latisha Smith, a local restauraunt owner. "Hell I would even vote him into office."
"I've never heard of this chicken but I know that Harriet Miers was a bit iffy," said newly-appointed Justice John Roberts. "This chicken will do a better job than Harriet Miers ever could, and he's definately more comptetant."
The chicken, nicknamed Senõr Pecker by his former New Mexican owner, Alejandro Sanchez was a former participant in cock-fights in seedy Roswell bars.
Supreme Court candidate Senõr Pecker.
"The chicken, he cannot fight no more," says Sanchez. "Every night I try to win money with him, but he too slow to even peck out opponent's eyes. So go to restaurant and I say 'hey, you want chicken? I give to you for free,' but nobody want him. Even KFC not want him."
At the announcement of his new nomination, president Bush was already praising his choice.
"Senõr Pecker here has been through 458 cock-fights in his lifetime. You show me another person, animal or inatimate object better than him, and I'll nominate them too," he said. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the finest cock in the United States of America, and soon he will be the finest supreme court judge as well. We had a pit-bull in size six shoes before, now we have a cock fighter wearing none."
Bush nominates Senõr Pecker at a news conference
aired on CNN.
When questioned about Senõr Pecker's experience in law by a reporter from the New York times, Bush answered: "Mam, there are people dying for our country in Iraq every day. They're making the sacrifice for a country that they beleive in, and you're questioning his qualifications? If you don't think that this magnificent cock should be in the supreme court, then you must be anti-American."
The senate is expected to accept the President's nomination sometime next week.
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