DAYTON, OR- A woman identified as Sally Hester snapped yesterday over the reported failure of a history test. The 45 year-old mother of two went nuts after her son Damian came home with an "F" on a test about the founding fathers.


"I came home and she asked me how school was, so I sad 'fine,' and went up to my room, leaving my bag open on the ground," said Damien, 14-year-old student of East Grove High. "That turned out to be a mistake 'cause she came bursting into my room soon after, yelling at the top of her lungs and holding the test I had left in my bag. So I went into ignore mode and tuned everything out, but I think she said something about 'responsibility' or some shit."

Mrs. Hester became even more enraged when her son suggested it "wasn't such a big deal" and that he'd failed two tests before this one. "At that point I was tired of looking blankly at her so I put on my headphones and blasted some Metallica to drown her out," he said. "So she finally left and I thought her little tantrum had been avoided successfully."


Laryn, Damien's 15-year-old sister from accross the hall, said she heard everything. "I remember sitting in my room and hearing my mom yell something about Benjamin Franklin not even being a founding father and my brother not even being American or something," she said. "Then she shouted something like 'I have no son' before she stormed out of the room and I beleive attempting to break his skateboard with her fist. She failed misreably and stormed down the steps, I thought I heard some picture frames fall to the ground."

The situation only escalted when Sally's husband Leonard came home and had yet again forgotten to pick up dinner at Swiss Chalet. The rotisserie chicken dinner with ceasar salad and dinner rolls was a weekly way of taking some burden off of Sally's shoulders.


"I came home expecting a loving wife, but what I got was a complete monster," said Leonard Hester, 46. "I comically suggested she should take a chill pill, you know, to lighten the mood a bit, boy was that a bad decision. She went into the kitchen and started breaking all these dishes yelling something about 'an ingrate for a husband' and 'never getting orgasms during sex', I just stood there in shock."

Mrs. Hester then took the keys to the family car and took off, yelling something about Florida on her way out. "I guess that means I'm not getting any tonight."