In an alarming ecological twist, birds and bees have begun mating at rates that have left small children scratching their heads in disbelief.


An artist's conception of the bird-bee mating process.

"My dad came up to me the other day and started stuttering something about birds and bees and having sex," says Lucas Brown, 11. "Which really confused me because up until then I thought sex was an expression of sexual sensation and related intimacy between two people who love each other. Now I'm not sure what to think."

Sex has been known to be performed between many species of mammals, but this cross breeding between species has never been known to happen on this planet before.

"I blame the increased pollution of our atmosphere and the ensuing global warming," remarks Lisa Rempel, 7. "The tempreature increase must be severely affecting their mating rituals." Global warming has reportedly led to many side affects accross the globe, including thumb cancer and increased Elvis sightings, but never the cross-breeding of species.

The mutation of the animals to even grow genetalia is an alarming trend in itself. "All of a sudden, birds and bees have the junk to have sex? I mean, who's to blame here?" says Riley Thomas, 8. " I think we need to take a good hard look at ourselves and take a little responibilty here."


Riley Thomas.


It remains to be seen wether other animals and bugs will start mating, but scientists are on the lookout for anything suspicious.