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'Levees Made of Crackers And Discarded Florida Ballots': Homless Man
Published Wednesday, April 12, 2006 by Gaëtan | E-mail this post
NEW ORLEANS, LA- On the verge of the start of hurricane season, a hungry homeless New Orleans man has made a startling discovery concerning the levees surrounding the 9th district.
"Well you see I was pokin' around them levees looking for some corpses to loot when this little paper comes a floatin' down," says 'Two Toothed Charlie', self proclaimed fairy master. "I thought it looked mighty farmiliar from my days as 'Stabby Charlie' in Florida. Then I realized, the night of the 2000 presidential election someone poured a bunch of these on top of me when I was sleepin' in a dumpster: they was Florida presidential ballots," he says. "I belive I stabbed whosever that was who put that shit on me...yep I stabbed 'im good."
The infamous Florida presidential ballot.
"Well you see I was pokin' around them levees looking for some corpses to loot when this little paper comes a floatin' down," says 'Two Toothed Charlie', self proclaimed fairy master. "I thought it looked mighty farmiliar from my days as 'Stabby Charlie' in Florida. Then I realized, the night of the 2000 presidential election someone poured a bunch of these on top of me when I was sleepin' in a dumpster: they was Florida presidential ballots," he says. "I belive I stabbed whosever that was who put that shit on me...yep I stabbed 'im good."
The infamous Florida presidential ballot.But ol' Two Toothed Charlie had yet to find the most shocking feature of the levee.
"It was about that time that I smelled this sweet smell in the air, hoo boy I just thought is was that glue that I sniffed in the morning, but then I look at the wall, and there's is graham crackers everywhere!"
Graham crackers.
At that time old Two Toothed Charlie invited his homeless buddies to come help him gorge on the delicious levee with a hint of honey. Among them was Feely Joe.
"I says to Charlie that I hasn't eaten this best since that woman I was feelin' dropped her sandwich."
Stoned Wheat thins: The stronger brand of cracker.
It is expected that the federally contracted company Halliburton will repair the levee with a slightly stronger cracker, perhaps a stoned wheat.
"It was about that time that I smelled this sweet smell in the air, hoo boy I just thought is was that glue that I sniffed in the morning, but then I look at the wall, and there's is graham crackers everywhere!"
Graham crackers.At that time old Two Toothed Charlie invited his homeless buddies to come help him gorge on the delicious levee with a hint of honey. Among them was Feely Joe.
"I says to Charlie that I hasn't eaten this best since that woman I was feelin' dropped her sandwich."
Stoned Wheat thins: The stronger brand of cracker.About me
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